My AH-HA Moment

Mommy, I can’t eat that because it’s gonna make me fat!” were the words that I heard this morning from my youngest son, Aidan. “-–— (fill in the blank) said if I drink too much chocolate milk, I’ll get FAT and I don’t want to get fat!” Ok….that hit me like a TON of bricks! How do you respond to your almost 8 year old with that comment?  Where do I begin? Who do I blame???

I blame society.  Our boys, just like our girls, have this vision of PERFECTION.  And if you don’t fit in the “box”,  then you are fat, right?  The perfect guy is tall, muscular with 12 pack abs, and looks to KILL!  It’s the athletic build of the basketball players that my boys look up to and want to be like.   Of COURSE they want to be like them and question WHY they don’t! This is the  foundation (in my opinion)  of the poor self esteem that can lead to a poor body image.  

I blame peer pressure.  Aidan had 2 “friends” of his that have called him fat, just in the past month.  It’s the GOSPEL if a classmate tells you about yourself, right?  Now…he has this thought in his head, because someone told him so.  The second “block”, continuing to build on that poor self esteem.

But mostly…..

I blame ME.  This is probably the TRUE source of the problem.  I mean, I’m not downing myself every day, but it’s obviously enough for my kids to pick up on it.  When I specifically tell Aidan (or my oldest, Julian) to stop saying those things about himself, he replies “Mommy, you say all the time you are FAT!”. OUCH!!  How did I let that happen?  In my mind, I say those things for self motivation (“C’mon Angie…you gotta move because you’re fat!”… ” OMG…I am so FAT!”…. “Why can’t I be skinny and not FAT??” Etc, etc).  Actually,this is a POOR substitution for any kind of motivation!  No one should EVER say such mean things to anyone, let alone yourself!!!  I won’t go into WHY I have a poor image, because the SOURCE isn’t the problem; it’s the PROBLEM that’s the problem!  And it hurts me to know that my children may start to think the same way about themselves because I have verbalized my own self imposed “inadequacies“.  I should NEVER say those things about myself and certainly not around my kids!  My job is to protect my children not hurt them.  By continuing this verbal assault on MYSELF, I am in fact hurting THEM!

I am a sarcastic, silly person by nature. I laugh at myself every chance I have an opportunity.  Am I still going to find those funny memes about working out and weight and nonsense like that?   YEP!    Am I going to share them with you?  YEP!   Then what have I learned from this morning?? I have to be CAREFUL with the words I choose (and use) and who I choose to say them around.  Fat shaming myself into motivation is my unhealthy way of getting my ass moving.  

My hope with this post is to inspire ALL of us!   We have all consciously made changes in our lifestyles- diet, exercise,etc.   Part of the change is to change our thoughts, which will help change our behaviors.  Wanting to be the best YOU should not include verbally beating yourself up !

With this post, I have become AWARE of what I need to change about myself.  I know that this won’t happen overnight, but I am going to try.  I will remind myself that I am a healthy, active, (soon to be) 43 year old wife and mother of two INCREDIBLE YOUNG MEN.  I am an EXAMPLE to my children, just by living right….#myAHHAmoment

 

PERFECT just the way they are!!! ❤️❤️

Am I out here by myself? Do you have moments like these?

Thanks for listening!!! ❤️.  

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9 thoughts on “My AH-HA Moment

  1. Mandy- Wild Red says:

    I think in those mirrored moments we learn the most about ourselves. As much as it stings I’ve tried to take those times with my son as improvement projects. I discuss it with him, explain why I’ve felt how I have and did what I did, then we figure out ways to improve. I then stick to the plan because, well the little one is looking up to me to follow an example so failure is not an option.. LoL😊 It’s good our kids don’t see us as perfect all knowing have it all together parents. Those types are unapproachable. You’re a great mom, very focused on your boys, and they will learn so much love and strength from you along the way!!

    BTW my son said the same one day at exactly the same age!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. cupcakesandmiles says:

    Aw! Poor Aidan! 😦 It is sad how much society pressures us to look a certain way. I’ll admit, I too try to motivate myself by criticizing how “fat” I’m getting. It doesn’t work though; it ends up stressing me out to the point where I begin stress-eating. It’s a vicious cycle! Society is hard enough to handle. We can’t be fighting ourselves too.

    And, I think your boys (and even you Mom) are perfect just the way you are! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Run DMT says:

    I love your candidness. It’s so true how what we say impacts our kids. They’re like little mirrors of ourselves. Oprah did a show a few years back about what moms think of their own body impacts what our girls think of their own bodies. It was so eye-opening for me. I grew up in a house where my mom openly spoke about how much she hated her body. It caused all kinds of problems for my sister and I and how we viewed our bodies. I promised myself that I would never talk like that in front of my girls, but honestly I never thought that those words would also impact my son. Wow.

    Like

    • Mom, Miles, and Mishaps says:

      Thanks! All of this is all self imposed because my mother and sister are so small and I’ve ALWAYS compared myself to them. I have to learn to love myself and be comfortable on my skin. I NEVER in a million years thought that my boys would pick up on my comments or figure it would affect them in any way! That’s why this post is incredibly important to me to write and share with others!
      Thanks for your continued support!! ❤️

      Like

  4. Jessica @ VEGGIE RUNNING MOMMA says:

    oh no 😦 man that is such a tough situation.!! you can’t say “don’t say that” when you say that to yourself. Defnitely would be a wake up call.. I figure a girl might have these issues..but never thought boys would.!! but guess insecurities and comparisons happen in both sexes. Be nicer to yourself 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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