You dropped the BOMB on me….

I got hit with a BOMB today💣💣…well…not an actual bomb, but it did feel like a verbal assault! A patient of mine this morning, on her way out from out lab review appointment, says “Angie…you’ve put on some weight and you look GOOD!“. 😱😱
The HORROR!! She could have told me I won the power ball, a free vacation, a new car…all I heard was “you’ve put on weight…..”. #damn

Those words were HARSH! I know she meant nothing by it, in that she was trying to be mean, but that hurt! I’ve increased my cardio by getting up early to run. I can’t seem to find the time to run in the evening with everything that needs to be done before bed! So…I bite the bullet and get my ass up to run at 4! I’m not breaking any records (only getting about 2.5 miles) but at least I’m doing it! When I heard that, I felt defeated! Those sick, twisted thoughts you have about HOW you are going to get this weight off start making there way I to my head!! You start thinking about the abnormal relationship with food…skipping meals, cutting back….NOT making good choices. (By the way….I don’t have or have ever been diagnosed with an eating disorder. I mean NO DISRESPECT to the daily struggle men and women have battling the disease.)
I’ve been eating better and working out more but all it takes is one comment…one look…one ANYTHING to make you feel like you’ve done NOTHING!

So, I take the negative and change it to a positive. And I keep kicking ASS every day to be the healthiest, happiest ME!
Speaking of kicking ass…

IMG_4187.PNGtoday’s WOD was good! I had my motivation and I CRUSHED IT!! 😉👍

Has anyone done/said anything to ever make you feel defeated? What did you do?

No me GUSTA…..

For my non Spanish speaking bloggers and blog readers that is “I don’t like“….
Lemme tell you what I DONT like…
The fact that I stepped on the scale this weekend and about fell OUT! That was a literal smack.in.my.FACE!! I thought I was doing well, but I’ve been doing well in my workouts…NOT with my eating! I am one of those people that needs that visual cue, the virtual kick in the ASS to recharge and get back on it.

Well…there you go, Angie…here’s your cue….

IMG_4022.JPGSERIOUSLY???Whoa…..
No disrespect to ANYONE regarding this post about weight, MY weight.
Let me put it in a one perspective for you…

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IMG_4026.JPGMy BMI is…DRUMROLL PLEASE…in the Overweight category! Wow!! There you go…NO ME GUSTA!!!

So apparently THIS is what I need to show myself AGAIN that my diet is literally “off the chain”!! I’m tired of this roller coaster…! I’m 42 and it won’t and ain’t gonna get any easier! So back to what I know…writing everything down, so can be held accountable for my intake. As I type this post, I want a COOKIE, but I’m trying to tell myself “Drink WATER and get full!!” and “go to bed”.

My friendly fit app will be in HIGH demand again…

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Sorry for the vent, but I had to get it off my chest. I’m MAD…mad at myself for letting myself go like this. I want to change my eating and it ain’t gonna happen unless I make the effort to make it happen.

Exercise has never been my problem…I just LOVE food (and drink, truth be told!!). Truly, I epitomize First World Problems!!!

But, I will make it happen, my fellow bloggers…I will!! All prayers and thoughts will be GREATLY appreciated!! 😘

My question is……
Have you ever been disappointed in yourself to the point where you are PISSED?